Countdown…48 days!

adoptI can’t believe that we are in the home stretch!  It’s 48 days until the official “due date”…and it completely and utterly boggles my mind!

Admittedly, stress is high.  I’m worried things will fall through, worried that something will happen, worried about becoming a parent…pretty much worried about everything you could think of.  I’m trying not to let it sully these coming weeks, but I have a feeling the next month is going to DRAG on forever.

The nursery is done.  We’ve been working on other house repairs in the hopes of getting all the big stuff completely before the baby is born.  It’s been a long process, but we’re at the tail end, so that is comforting!

Otherwise, we’re just waiting!  I feel like the wait is nearly at an end, but I’m also somewhat scared to get too excited.  It’ll definitely be an interesting month and a half!

Much love,
K.

The Countdown…133 days!

It’s crazy how my posts have taken such a turn…from counting down the months waiting for a match, to counting down the days until the baby is here!

Last week was the anatomy scan (which was quite the ordeal, in and of itself), and we were THRILLED to hear that the baby was doing very well, growing on schedule and looking perfect.  Our expecting mother also told us that the baby is a GIRL!!!  We are absolutely THRILLED to welcome a daughter into our family!

Our expecting mother is also doing well, but found out that she has a condition that could result in the need for a C-section instead of a vaginal birth.  We’re hoping things clear up and she is able to continue with the vaginal birth, but as long as she’s healthy and happy with the care she’s receiving, we’re completely fine with however this turns out.  She’s such a sweet and caring person, and we really care about how she’s doing and making sure she’s feeling happy and well taken care of.

We’re looking to make a visit to see her soon, hopefully mid-march.  She’d like to do a walk-through at the hospital with us, so that we can see where she’ll give birth and meet some of the staff.  In addition, she’s also asked that I be with her in the delivery room, which means a lot to me.  I was clear with her that if she changes her mind, it’s COMPLETELY ok, and I don’t want her to feel pressured to have me in there.  For now, that’s the plan, but I fully recognize that could change in an instant and just plan to play it by ear.

So…we’re 133 days (give or take) away from being parents.  It’s a crazy feeling, but we’re so excited!

Much love,
K.

The Wait…Possibly Over?

So, at the end of last year/beginning of this year, my post mentioned that I felt 2017 would be “our year” to become parents.  And, looking back, it seems like that might have been a bit foreshadowing!  But, honestly, I had no idea how RIGHT those words would turn out to be when I was typing them!

WE’RE MATCHED!!

We actually were approached about an opportunity at the very end of the year, and had a phone conversation with the expecting mother on the 2nd of January.  We all seemed to hit it off quite well, and she immediately picked us as the adoptive parents for her child!

So…the little baby is due in June.  It’s a longer match, which makes J quite happy, as he now feels like he has “more time to plan.”  Frankly, I would have been happy with a baby born situation and just Amazon Prime’d everything, but he would struggled, so it’s probably worked out for the best this way.

We keep touch with the expecting mom weekly, just text chats here and there.  She’s very sweet and I enjoy talking with her, and we plan to make a trip to visit her sometime in March, so that we can meet before the baby arrives.  We are beyond excited, but also realize that this joy for us comes at quite a loss to her, and that really saddens us more than we can explain.

We’re aware nothing is guaranteed, so trying to be cautious in our excitement, but for now we’re just living in the present!  Growing our relationship with the expecting mother and working through paperwork with the agency.  It’s been a whirlwind, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!  Thank you so much, everyone, for all your well wishes, prayers, and comments…they’ve been so appreciated by us both!  Please keep us in your thoughts, and pray for our expecting mother and baby, as she goes through the pregnancy and the difficult decisions ahead of her.

Much love,
K.

The Wait…Month Eight

dreamLast month I mentioned that I was hoping for a Christmas miracle.  Well, Christmas has come and gone, and while we didn’t get the miracle we wanted, we came somewhat close.

About a week before Christmas, we were approached by a second agency that we had been considering working with in the upcoming year.  They had a birth mother contact them about her 2-week old baby that she was considering an adoption plan for.  The agency wanted to know if we wanted to be considered, and if so, that we send them our profile book.

This was the first time I’ve actually KNOWN we were being shown to a birth parent regarding an adoption plan.  The agency that we started with (and are still working with), doesn’t let us know when our profile is shown, unless it’s a situation they’re not sure we’re comfortable with.  If that situation comes up, they would contact us and ask if we would like to be presented and we’d go from there…so far, that hasn’t happened.  Our agency assures us that our profile is being shown, and we love working with them and have only had good experiences, so no reason to think that isn’t the case.  They’re a smaller agency, with fewer placements, so it’s to be expected.

So, anyways…I got the phone call and I spoke with J about it, and we agreed that we’d like to be considered for the “baby born” situation.  We hurriedly send in our profile book to be printed off, so that the social worker could take it with her when she went to meet the birth mother, and J and I sat back, on pins and needles.

Obviously, since this post didn’t start out with “PLEASE MEET BABY X!” you can all guess where this went.  The birth mother, after what I’m sure was excruciating deliberation, decided to parent.  There were a few things leading up to this that made us suspect this might happen, plus the agency warned us that this was a riskier situation due to some issues with the father, so we hadn’t gotten our hopes up to high.  We wish the birth mother well, and only want the very best for her, and we communicated that to the agency.  And, with that…there went the Christmas miracle.

I won’t lie, I was hurting.  I had tried my best to keep myself grounded in the knowledge that these things fall through, it was already a higher risk, and all those other acknowledgements that you remind yourself of when trying not to get in too deep.  And yet, somehow, with all that, I still managed to think that “this could be it!”.

But, overall, it was a good experience.  Not the outcome we hoped for, but we were impressed with the second agency’s handling of the situation and the level of communication we had throughout that very long week of “where do we stand.”  We’re now in the 8th month of waiting, coming up on a year, and I have renewed hope.  Last week, we were closer to being parents than we had EVER been before, so I can only hope that this is a significant step forward towards our dream of parenthood coming true!

Who knows…maybe next month the blog post will start out significantly different!

Much love,
K.

The Wait…Month Seven.

Seven months into our wait, and it’s getting harder around the holidays.  To top it off, the pregnancy announcements just keep coming, and I often find myself questioning if this is ever going to happen for us.  I know lots of people wait much longer than this, but it doesn’t make the pill any easier to swallow.

We are going to sign with a second agency in the new year.  We love our agency that we’re working with now, but we’re hoping to increase our chances for a faster match.  Hopefully this will do that…I just hate the financial aspect of it all.  I feel bad spending so much money on this; even though it’s very important to us both to be parents, I still feel so much guilt when it comes to spending money.  You’d think, after years of fertility treatments, I’d be used to it, but sadly not.

In other news, Thanksgiving was lovely.  We traveled to Connecticut to visit friends that we made while living in the Netherlands (they lived there as well and moved back to the United States shortly after us), and it was fantastic.  I ate too much, drank too much, laughed too much (ok, not really), and just relaxed.  It was a long drive (13.5 hours each way), but totally worth it.  Now that we’re back, this week will be spent decorating for Christmas and finishing up the shopping.  I love the holidays, but there is a bit of a damper on my spirit these past few years.  I’m trying to focus on the positive and keep praying for a Christmas miracle!

Much love,
K.

The Wait…Month Four

We’re a little over four months in our wait for a match.  I feel like time has been flying, but that’s probably because we’ve been trying to keep busy this summer.  We’ve been traveling for fun, and I’ve also been traveling for work, plus we’ve been working on the house continuously.  The basement is nearly completed, and we’ll soon start working on the nursery furniture!

I still struggle with the wait a lot.  I know nothing will make it go faster, that this is just the process, but it’s hard at times.  I just try to keep things in perspective, that everything will happen in the time it’s supposed to, and while we wait J and I can focus on our marriage and getting everything ready for the little one!

Much love,
K.

Quilting Along

quiltIn my last post, I talked about how I was planning on making a few baby quilts for when we’re finally matched and bring home our baby.  I decided to make a “girl” and a “boy” quilt, and then I can donate whichever one we don’t end up needing.  Since this was my first quilt, I really wanted something simple and easy to do, and I found a really neat pattern from Fat Quarter Shop, called Jelly Roll Jam.  There’s even a YouTube tutorial!

So, over the past 10 days, I’ve been frantically waiting for my second jelly roll of fabric to arrive (I wanted to mix and match from two different rolls, but didn’t realize this until after getting my first jelly roll in the mail).  Once it showed up, it was time to get quilting!  All in all, I probably put in around 10 hours, from start to finish, and I am really happy with how this first quilt turned out!  I machine quilted it and used my sewing machine to bind it as well (who has time for hand sewing?!), and I can’t wait to throw it in the wash a few times to really soften it up!

The “Boy” quilt is next…I’m excited to see how it turns out as well!

Much love,
K.