This past weekend was Mother’s Day here in the US, and for the past 3 years, it’s been increasingly hard. My first Mother’s Day after we started TTC was so soon after tossing the BCP, being pregnant wasn’t even a blip on my radar. The following Mother’s Day, it was the anniversary of a year since we started TTC, and when I really started to accept the fact that getting pregnant might not be as easy as we had hoped. The next year was after a few failed IUIs, and we hadn’t moved on to IVF yet as a possibility.
Then, this Mother’s Day came around. Three years, 42 cycles, 3 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF. It’s been a very long road on the journey to become parents for me and the Mr. Lots of excitement, only to see that turned into heartbreak, and lots of medical tests and procedures which didn’t produce anything. Lots and lots of money spent with not much to show for it. It’s hard to think about, at times, just how draining these past three years have been for us both. My body has taken a beating, to be sure, and we’ve both suffered mentally.
However, there’s hope. This year, Mother’s Day came with the knowledge that we’ve passed our home study and are now just waiting on our match. This year came with the assurance that we WILL be parents, so long as we just stick it out and wait. This year also came with the hope that, maybe, this year will be the last Mother’s Day that I get to watch everyone else celebrate, while sitting on the sidelines. So far, I’m staying hopeful!