Up until this point, the home study process has been fairly straight forward. Tax records, financial records, health records, etc. Ok…I can provide all of that, no problem. But now that we’re a week away from the home visit, we’re really having to take a look at how we really feel about the hard questions.
Some of the things we’re clear on is our preference for a non-special needs child. Other things are more fluid…health history of the birth mother and father. Race of the child. Things like that. Which is hard, because we know that the more specific we get in our requests, the longer the wait becomes. And that’s frustrating, but reality. So, now it’s a balancing act of what level of risk we’re willing to accept, and where we draw the line. This is even more so the case in terms of finances, where we could potentially be on the hook for a large amount of medical expenses if things go wrong. Obviously, this is now different than the risk we’d take if I were pregnant and giving birth, but there is the time between when the baby is born and when the papers are signed that they baby won’t be covered under our insurance. If the birth mother doesn’t have any health insurance, we could be financially liable for large sums of money (if something goes wrong). It’s a hard pill to swallow, having to figure out just how much financial risk we can afford to take in this situation. It’s so hard to balance our desire for a child against the need to be realistic about our financial and emotional limitations.
Overall, we’ll get through it. But, hard questions and hard conversations are in our future over the next week. Our home visit is a week from today, and we’ll have the paperwork ready to go for the visit. I’m continually praying for God’s guidance through all of this, and hope that we make the right decisions, for a child and for us.