Home Visit: Complete

SPOILER ALERT:  WE PASSED!!!

Throughout the home study process, I knew that it was all leading up to the big finish: The Home Visit.  For most of this process, I was pretty zen.  “Oh, it’ll be fine…I won’t be nervous, not in the least!”  HA!  I guess I’m better at lying to myself than I initially thought!

Today was our home visit.  For the past week, I’ve been in various states of panic regarding the visit…from moments of zen (rare), to moments of full out panic resulting in things like, “OMG…maybe we should paint the walls downstairs, since the basement is still a mess from the remodel!”  (My poor husband, that’s all I have to say)  Needless to say, from this weekend until this afternoon at 2:00pm, I was a wreck.

I spent the weekend organizing and picking up around the house.  I’ll be honest, our hose is large (at least, large in my eyes…3400 sq. ft.) and we have more storage than I know what to do with…so some of the rooms just become disorganized receptacles for “stuff”…and completely unorganized.  So, my goal was to tackle the house, room by room, and pick up / organize the place.  I spent Saturday morning and afternoon on the downstairs, and then Sunday morning and afternoon on the upstairs.  Surprisingly, it was fairly easy work, just moving things around a bit, picking up, and shredding enough documents to make me feel like I worked for Enron (apparently, we haven’t shredded any of our financial documents/medical documents since 2010…whoops!).  Once I was finished on Sunday afternoon (before we jetted off to a Mumford and Sons concert…omg, best concert EVER), I was very pleased with how everything looked and was starting to feel a bit better about everything.

Now, I’ll admit, we have a cleaning lady (hangs head in shame).  While I normally feel like an indulged princess regarding the fact we have a cleaning lady, I was THRILLED to have her one board for a deep clean on Monday!  I called her and was honest, “ZOMG…PEGGY…HELP ME!!!!!”  She calmed me down, said everything would be perfect (she was right), and I relaxed and went to work on Monday, knowing my house was in very capable hands.  I came back after work and the house looked amazing, which went even further to calming my panic.

Of course, I didn’t sleep much last night.  Too worried about the “what ifs”.  Honestly, if we look at our track record regarding all things in the “having children” category…we’ve struck out consistently.  While I knew, logically, that there wasn’t anything that would prevent us from passing, I was still terrified.  What if there was something in my past that popped up (to be clear, there wasn’t), or what if J or I said the wrong thing (we didn’t).  Unfounded fears, sure…but a LOT was riding on this.  So, I was stressed, to say the least.

Thankfully, my fears were unfounded.  The home study went off without a glitch!  The social worker was lovely, and most of the day was spent talking about J and myself, our marriage, how we planned to raise children, and what we were willing to accept / not accept from a placement!  Easy peasy!  No joke, the actual “house tour” took 20 minutes of the full day, max.  Overall, it was easy.  The social worker was lovely, and L.A. (a student intern we’ve been in close contact with since February) was there, so it really helped smooth the way.  I was almost sad to see them go, because it was so comfortable and engaging throughout the day (plus, it’s L.A.’s last day at the agency, so that was sad).

As you saw above, we passed the home visit.  L and L.A. (social worker and student intern) left around 2:00pm today, and immediately put our profile book on the shelf to be viewed when they got back to the agency.  It’s a bit surreal that we could get a call at ANY point now, though I’m trying hard not to get my hopes up that it will go quickly.  Average waits are 18-24 months, so I know we could be in this for the long haul, but I’m hopeful it could go quickly.

With that said…let the wait begin!!!

 

Much love,
K.

Hard Questions

Up until this point, the home study process has been fairly straight forward.  Tax records, financial records, health records, etc.  Ok…I can provide all of that, no problem.  But now that we’re a week away from the home visit, we’re really having to take a look at how we really feel about the hard questions.

Some of the things we’re clear on is our preference for a non-special needs child.  Other things are more fluid…health history of the birth mother and father.  Race of the child.  Things like that.  Which is hard, because we know that the more specific we get in our requests, the longer the wait becomes.  And that’s frustrating, but reality.  So, now it’s a balancing act of what level of risk we’re willing to accept, and where we draw the line.  This is even more so the case in terms of finances, where we could potentially be on the hook for a large amount of medical expenses if things go wrong.  Obviously, this is now different than the risk we’d take if I were pregnant and giving birth, but there is the time between when the baby is born and when the papers are signed that they baby won’t be covered under our insurance.  If the birth mother doesn’t have any health insurance, we could be financially liable for large sums of money (if something goes wrong).  It’s a hard pill to swallow, having to figure out just how much financial risk we can afford to take in this situation.  It’s so hard to balance our desire for a child against the need to be realistic about our financial and emotional limitations.

Overall, we’ll get through it.  But, hard questions and hard conversations are in our future over the next week.  Our home visit is a week from today, and we’ll have the paperwork ready to go for the visit.  I’m continually praying for God’s guidance through all of this, and hope that we make the right decisions, for a child and for us.

Much love,
K.

Home Study Time!

After getting all the paperwork completed and sent into the agency, only one thing is left for our “Home Study” process…the in-house visit!  Our personal goal was to have everything turned in, and get the in-home visit scheduled, prior to leaving for our vacation.  I was concerned that wouldn’t happen because of the Dutch background check…having dealt with foreign bureaucracy before, I knew not to expect expediency.  I was shocked pleasantly surprised when our background checks took about a week to go through, and then a week to receive them in the mail!  Thrilled doesn’t even begin to describe how happy we were!

Which left us with only one step left to sort, scheduling the visit to our place to make sure that everything checks out.  We got an email from the agency last evening, and the dates the social worker threw out worked well with our schedules, and now we’re ready to go!  In a few weeks, we’ll do our in-home study, and hand over our book, and we’ll be ready to be shown to birth mothers.  And that is where the real wait begins.

So…I’m going to try to relax.  We’ve done all we can…now it’s up to God and His plan.  I will continue to pray for patience, and if you all could send good thoughts/prayers, that would be wonderful!  I’ll do a post on our adoption profile book once we receive it and make sure everything looks good!

Much love,
K.