To decorate, or not to decorate…

As I mentioned in my last post, one of the things I struggle with the most is how much I should “prepare” ahead of time…even knowing that it could be months or years before we have a match/placement.  And, honestly, I have a feeling I’ll be struggling with this throughout the entire process, because that seems to be how my personality runs.

One of the areas that I’m unsure of is whether to go ahead and decorate the nursery.  I was reading through a few different blogs, and one woman said she wanted to decorate the nursery for A baby, not necessarily a specific baby.  I really liked how she put that, because that way the nursery is ready to go, but it’s more of planning for a certainty.  My concern was always that we’d decorate for a match, but then the adoption would fall through and I’d be left with a nursery that was empty.  I think, if we decorate prior to even having a match, it’ll feel more like an eventuality, rather than a room for a specific child.

J has already mentioned that he wants to build the crib, which I love the idea of.  Lately, he’s been enamored with all sorts of woodworking, and I know this will give him a way to feel tied in even more to the adoption, and will give him a nice lead-up to bonding with the baby.

So…I’m still torn.  I think it could be a great way to pass the time, and something for me to focus on as we move through this process, but I worry it’s also too soon.  Thoughts?

Much love,
K.

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6 thoughts on “To decorate, or not to decorate…

  1. I know what you mean !! We have only restricted ourselves to books and a few stuffed animals – no actual furniture or clothes as it feels too “jinx-ing”. My husband also made a few things out of wood as well – a changing “box” (to fit a changing pad in).

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      1. Well, we’re adopting in the 3 mo – 4 year range so our kiddo’s need could vary, so your actions are definitely valid. Do what feels right! It’s like how we opened our xmas gifts xmas eve morning, we couldn’t wait! 🙂

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  2. I can certainly connect with this dilemma! Ultimately, we decided to go ahead and prepare the nursery. I felt awkward about it until I read a newly adoptive parent’s blog post that said what made them stand out to the birth mom that ultimately selected them, was a picture of the nursery in their profile book. After hearing that, I felt much less silly about getting the room ready, even if it sits empty for years to come. Some days I feel excited to go in and look around and imagine it being used. Other days, the door is closed because looking at it hurts. Truly you and your husband should choose whatever feels right for you.

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  3. We are going through the same dilemma! We are matched and the baby is due this summer. We know the gender too! Our agency recommended waiting until we had the baby, in hand, to do any decorating or major prep. It feels so strange to hold back. But, I think that if you get it a little time (assuming you have a bit) and think about your personality, your reaction to matches that have fallen through or your feelings about it falling through, you will get your answer.
    I know that personally, it’s easier for me to hold back now and not decorate until we have the baby in our arms and ready to come home. But we still may register for neutral items at Babies R’Us to keep a list of items we like and that we can easily go pick up literally on our way home with baby.

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