One of my biggest personality drawbacks is my tendency to go full steam ahead whenever a new, exciting, possibility comes into my life. To be fair, this probably isn’t a drawback 100% of the time, but there are instances where it’s best to sit back, relax, and just let life happen.
I feel like our journey with infertility was more on the “sit back and relax” spectrum. I mean, there were times when I was faced with impatience, doubt, worry, fear…but overall I felt pretty zen about it (90% of the time).
But, the adoption process thus far has been different. I’m not stressed in the least (thankfully), but I find myself just wanting to do everything NOW NOW NOW. I’ve been reading a few books that describe the information needed for the home study process, and I’m talking to J, and find myself saying things like, “And I need to schedule the doctor’s appointments for our physicals, but not until late March/early April.” or “And we need to pull our financial records for the past three years and make sure we have extra copies ready to go.” All these things are running through my head, and we haven’t even scheduled the interview process yet to kick off the home study!
I know J is worried that I’m going to burn myself out. And I understand that, it’s a valid concern. But I’m just so incredibly excited at this prospect that I find myself wanting to capitalize on the extra energy. Get things completed now so we won’t have to stress about them later. The only problem is, I’m not 100% sure what I even need to complete now, since I don’t have a list from our agency. I know I need to tone it down, but it’s hard.
So, that’s where I am at the moment. Still ridiculously early in the process, and anxious/excited for things to get going. I feel like we’ve been waiting for this for years, and now that it’s closer than it’s ever been, I’m tired of being patient.