Day 2 of Femara

Today is day 2 of my Femara protocol.  I had forgotten just how much that stuff absolutely exhausts me!

I feel like I’m stuck between two different mindsets:  excited and not excited.  One minute I think this cycle could really be it, and the next I’m convinced this will never work and we’ll never get pregnant.  Then, I think I’m completely, 100% ready to be a parent to a baby, and the next second I’m scared shitless, worried that I’ll never be ready for the responsibility.  Honestly, the uncertainty of it all is what worries me the most.

But…there’s time.  It’s only CD4, so early in my cycle, and I have the support of my husband.  He’s amazing throughout all of this, and I couldn’t do it without him.  I just need to relax and turn to God, because I know he’ll get me through this.

Much love,
K.

Cycle 28 – IUI#2

Today marks the beginning of my 28th cycle.  Two years of temping, prenatal vitamins, charting, OPKs, testing, and waiting.  It’s been an incredibly long, and oftentimes frustrating, journey for us…one that I hope ends sooner rather than later.

I called my RE this morning to set up an ultrasound for the coming days to check for cysts before starting Femara again.  I’m doing the same protocol as before, 5mg daily from CD3-CD7, with a monitoring appointment on CD13, before triggering and an IUI.  This also means that I’ll be finding out if we got lucky this cycle while we on our anniversary vacation in Key West.  While I think it would be an AMAZING gift to J for our anniversary if we were to get pregnant this cycle, I can’t help but think about how much it’s going to suck when the test comes back negative, while on our trip.

I’m trying very hard to stay positive.  We have options, which is more than I can say for some.  Just got to hang in there and hope for the best.

Much love,
K.

Cycle 27, here we go.

AF has come and gone, and we’re not on cycle 27 of trying to conceive.  We’re going for another IUI again, so hopefully this is it.  I’m doing my best to keep my hopes up, but I’m also prepping J for the potential of IVF.  It’s been such a roller coaster for the past few weeks, between being on for the IUI, then off, then on again.  Because we’re back on, I’m missing a dear friend’s baby shower, and I feel so terrible about it.  I love her dearly and can’t wait until her little baby arrives, and it sucks that I’ll miss such a fun time.  I’m still working on her baby blanket, though, so I hope to finish and get that sent off this week.  Then, maybe when I am able to visit her later (hopefully June), I’ll meet the baby AND hopefully have one on the way myself!  I have to keep holding on to these little hopes, or else I’m worried I’ll fall off an emotional cliff.  Either way, we’ll get through it, one way or another.

Much love,
K.