I feel like this entire process is a giant bowl of “unfair.” I hate that we have zero control over whether we’ll actually get pregnant. Ok, that’s not true, we have some control…like whether we have sex at the right time, but other than that? Nothing. No control. And I absolutely LOATHE feeling like I have no control.
Maybe this is God’s way of teaching me a lesson. I mean, I’m sure it’s God’s way of teaching me something…maybe it’s patience. Maybe it’s the lesson that, in reality, very little is in our control in this life. Ok, God…I get it. Enough with the lessons.
I swear, if I see one/hear more pregnancy announcement on FB/at work/wherever, I’ll probably do something I’ll end up regretting. Like have a full emotional breakdown, complete with the ugly cry. I really hope this month is our month. I’m nervous about our upcoming testing and, if possible, I’d like to avoid it altogether. Emotionally, I’m not sure how many more months of this I can take.