Getting to Here…

tumblr_nd6o4pVCds1u0mn5io1_500Our journey with trying to conceive, up until this point, has been pretty standard.  April 2013, we threw away the birth control pills and decided that we’d leave it up to chance for a few months (not trying, but not preventing either).  We used protection for the first month, until my first period came, and then went on our merry way with a “leave it up to fate” plan for a few months.

After a few months of that, we decided to get down to business with actively trying to conceive (TTC).  I started the addition of peeing on every stick in sight, in this case ovulation predictor kits (OPKs).  Surprisingly, my cycles were pretty regular, even from the very beginning when I went off birth control pills.  Every 25/26 days, my period would show up, and another cycle would start.  I was having positive OPKs every 13/14th day of my cycle, along with other fertile signs, so things seemed to be going well!  I was confident that, with my regular cycles, and our good timing with intercourse, it would only be a matter of time.

Well…if wishes were horse, and all that, then I wouldn’t be here writing up this blog post.  Needless to say, 3 months turned to 6 months without a positive pregnancy test.  6 months turned to 12, and 12 to 16, and suddenly, here I am.  So far, no pregnancy, and not for lack of trying.  It’s been frustrating and emotional each month as my cycle restarts, the ups and downs of hoping that I’ll be late, and the pregnancy test will be positive, to getting a negative test and my period the next day.  J was pretty good (emotionally) in the beginning, but even now he’s starting to feel the disappointment and emotional upheaval each month as well.

Thankfully, our marriage is stronger than ever.  We’re supportive of each other and know that we’re in this together, which is what gets me through the bad days.  I have to remind myself that, even if we’re never blessed with children, our marriage and lives together are fantastic and will be enough for us.  It’s hard, some days, because we both want this so badly, but we’re comforted in our solid relationship (though, of course we have rocky days…as does everyone), and keep up good communication.  He’s been my rock throughout all of this, and I’m so grateful for him in my life.  As we continue this journey, odds are it’ll only get harder, so I hope our solid foundation will help us come out even stronger.


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